Paralysed by the headlights of the oncoming car
Saturday, January 31st, 2009I have often wondered what makes the rabbit or deer stay, motionless, when in the path of an oncoming car or vehicle at night.
I have often wondered what makes the rabbit or deer stay, motionless, when in the path of an oncoming car or vehicle at night.
The number of visitors I get for the ‘new’ (well, it’s not so new, really) blog is higher than the old one (a little). But it’s not that that is the surprise. It’s where the people come from.
So, there you are. Someone does something that, in itself, is not so bad or so terrible or so hurtful. You have been relied upon for so many years to do something and then, because things are a little strained and they won’t ask for help, they go and do it themselves or, find someone else to do it.
And you don’t know until it has been done.
As you may know, I use the BBC website to check the news. One of the things that I believe you don’t get in the UK is the adverts.
They don’t really bother me. Some sit on the side advertising computers or cars or whatever. Some, however, are like an advert on TV in that they show just before the video clip you want to watch. It’s not really a problem. Most are for hotel groups or airlines and, to be honest, I take little notice.
Except for the latest one which I find really annoying.
It’s for the film Revolutionary Road. This in itself is not annoying. What IS bloody annoying is that, because I am in Italy, it’s in Italian and dubbed movies are never usually so good. So, instead of hearing Leonard’s or Kate’s voice, I hear some Italian person and the voice is all wrong. Made worse by the fact that I don’t understand it all.
I mean, if I’m looking at the BBC site in English, don’t play adverts in Italian! Please.
So, today, another first. Well, that’s not strictly true but it has been so long since the last time that it felt like a first. I think that last time was about 18 or 19 years ago.
Now it’s cold and wet and I forgot my brolly.
I was going to go and get my hair cut tonight but now I think, other than taking the dogs out, a nice glass or two of wine watching a film or something would be better. I can always get my hair cut in the morning.
There are points in your life when you should fight. There are points when you should accept. It can be difficult to accept certain things. No one likes change, especially when change will mean stepping off the cliff, blindfolded – and you don’t even know if the wings will work or the parachute will open.
For some strange reason, this morning, I had this desire to have porridge. To be more precise, ReadyBrek which, I know, is not porridge.
Maybe it’s because it is cold.
I don’t even remember if it was a thought this morning or part of a dream during the night.
Funnily enough, we had polenta for lunch today. This has the consistency of porridge with none of the taste. More exactly – no taste. As I said to one of my colleagues, after they had asked me if I had ever cooked polenta at home and I had replied ‘no’ – it has no taste at all so why? It’s one of those foods that is there to fill you up, I guess. Anyway, she could not answer.
On the plus side, Gina (the cook) had make some small fairy cakes (plain and chocolate sponge) and she slipped on of those onto my tray. It’s always the right thing to do to get on with the people who provide food!!!
I have been assuming that nothing could be done to get us out of this mess. And then, driving to work, I had one of those important ‘moment of clarity’ times, where, although not as perfect and as I would prefer, I could see how we would get out or, at least, survive.
Of course, I should know better. Whenever these things occur, they are followed, inevitably, by the moment when my heart sinks and the feeling in the pit of my stomach returns with a vengeance and my head spins out of control. I have never been very good at crises although, once I have a plan that is workable and achievable I am fine. It’s just the getting to that stage that I find so difficult.
And so it is. And so it will be. And so, following on from my post below, I see no hope. And yet, certain things will be better; more settled; more predictable; more stable. And there is a hope but a different one than before – different end results but, in some ways, better. And by my fingertips I hold on to that however cold the climate is right now. Well, at least it has stopped raining.
Barack Obama. I have noticed that the recurring word used for him is ‘hope’. The other one should be ‘trust’. And he must prove himself to be trustworthy. I just hope that those people who have this hope in him do not find their hope misplaced but I have a feeling that their expectations of him and from him are far greater than can be achieved – by him or anyone else. I hope that I am wrong.
